My Culinary Heart

Someone is frying bacon. My mouth waters. I smell it from my balcony, where I sit bundled up watching the shrouded sunrise and listening to the busy birds. The cacophony of summer is gone, only the familiar murmuring of our year round birds remains to welcome me to morning.
I smell bacon, my mouth waters, my imagination goes to a luscious breakfast of eggs, what kind, poached, scrambled? The left overs of yeseterday’s crusty bread toasted and buttered, MMmmm, crunchy bacon (of course) fresh squeezed orange juice... How can I just eat yogurt and fruit, to loose 5 kilos, when I smell bacon, my mouth waters and my culinary heart takes over?

The Rains Are Coming

The rains are coming despite the clear sky. The wind unsettles the atmosphere, there is an uneasy energy about. The wood animals scuttle, the dog prances, the horse paces, the cat chases, the fish dart. I cannot complete any one thing - skipping from one unfinished task to another, from one fleeting thought to the next. The rains are coming; I must store the cushions, cover the bikes, push the garden furniture under cover. I must bring in dry wood, pull down the laundry. I must look for the warmer bedspread, find my closed shoes and rain jacket.

Journal entry from Oct. 8th

I came across this yesterday, I wrote it over a month ago, while having tea at an outdoor cafe that overlooks the sea and a distant monolith with a statue on top that reminded me of an angel. These thoughts seem so poignant at this time when we are feeling the grips of the crisis - 4 months of uemployment and reduced billings for the household breadwinners. I must keep the faith, keep the thanks, keep the prayers, keep the love.

My Guardian Angel:

There she is, my guardian angel. What is she protecting me from? Where is she guiding me to? Why is it a she? Becasue I see her silhouette hovering above the sea, hair flowing, delicate eyes caring, hands reaching out. She is protecting me from all evil, there is no bad in my life: no theft, no physical harm nor threat of harm, no cheating, no back stabbing, no hate. She protects me from falls: I may stumble in momentary doubt, but never fall in complete negativity. I may come across a set back or a longer distance than anticipated, but never feel lost nor defeated. She protects me from finacial difficulty. I may have periods of lesser abundance, but never want for comfort. I may have unexpected expenses, but they are somehow always met, even when there has not been a clear source at hand.

She is guiding me through life, checking my humility, guarding me from greed, showing me compassion, always keeping me in love. She reminds me to be tempered, to seek wisdom; God's, mine, other's who have walked this path before me.

Silently, invisibly my guadian angel protects and guides me.

Obama Inspired!

YAAAY We did it! We voted in a man who prefers:

• peace vs. war


• helping the struggling vs. insisiting it's the fault of their own laziness and negating them support


• keeping in check greedy corporations vs. turning a blind eye to their abusive tactics because of their economic power


• pulling everyone together to promote change from bottom up vs. the haves dictating change (or lack there of) from a condescending podium of control


• multi-racial participation vs. white control

...and how hopeful I feel, despite all the HUGE problems to address.

He did it again with his acceptance speech, INSPIRING, hope he can keep it up!

Musings on Mad Men

Mad Men just broke the record for the most number of Emmy's won in one year. We get that show on one of our satelite channels and although I didn't see every episode I can more or less follow it. I enjoy it - I like remembering the fashions and decor of the sixties which is such a huge part of the shows quality level. The soap opera story hooks you. Many of the characters are quite attractive, both men and women. I like confirming how far women have come since then in terms of equality, respect, dignity - the way the men speak to some of those women (and about them when they are not present) is downright indignanat.

And this brings me to my musings - Why remind us of how lowly we were treated and we allowed oursleves to be treated? Is it to ensure that we don't retrocede? Or is it a sublime psycholigical ploy to let men know that once they were "superior"? I believe by giving so much coverage to something, even if the purpose is to denounce it, you are validating it to those that may feel the same way but had feared it because they felt they were the only ones. Take social problems like violence against women, pedofiles, or drug users. The more these acts are recognized in the media, it seems the more they are committed.

So the more this superior attitude towards women is glamorized by this series, (it has a glamorous feel - the clothes, the decor, the drinks..) the more we are encouraging certain types of men to perhaps aspire to it once again?

Just some things I ask myself when I find myself drawn to this program and incensed by it at the same time.

Journal Entry from Sept. 22, 2008

Glory Days!
Glory days are here again -both daughters back at school, lovely breezes and temperatures. The house stays neat, quiet and comfortable. I sit at my desk uninterrupted and get work done. New ideas start to flow, creativity is awakened and inspiration follows. How grand to feel productive and forward moving again, how grand that Fall has arrived!

Journal entry from Aug. 11 2008

The Inner Conflict of Lazy Days of Summer

In this moderate climate where I live, where neither winter nor summer temperatures are extreme (usually), our home is not air conditioned. Normally I enjoy feeling the difference in the seasons that this offers. Sundresses and strappy tops to keep cool in the summer heat of a home refreshed only by ceiling fans and a cross breeze; summer fashion that I must cover up with a sweater when I visit the air conditioned U.S. The layering of a turtle neck and sweater in the winter to keep warm in a house heated by a fireplace and space heaters; layers I must reduce when I am in centrally heated homes further North in Spain or in the U.S.

I like feeling the fresh air, the rise and fall of temperatures between day and night, the breezes from both sea and land; it feels more natural more in tuned with nature, I tell myself. There is a change of pace here in southern Spain, as the temperature rises and the holiday-makers invade. It reminds me of times of the past when people still lived the rhythms of the seasons; when “lazy days of summer” were natural, necessary and accepted.

Now central air conditioning and heating means, in most places, that our rhythm - our pace of life - must remain the same all year round. Winter used to mean staying close to the fire to keep warm, reading, sewing, knitting, making love, sleeping – activities to cherish in the long, cold winter months; a time of rest and repose - of inner reflection preparing for Spring and its growth. Spring and Fall were busy times, full of planting, sowing and harvesting, and readying for the winter. Summers were spent outdoors, in company of friends and neighbors, at a slower pace sanctioned by the high temperatures and long days. Repairs were made, canning and putting up for other seasons completed, life’s bounty enjoyed. Now we must all live the same pace, the same productivity, the same activity all year round – our body’s rhythms pressed to the max, out of whack with the earth’s natural rhythms.

Most summers I am glad not to have air conditioning, to consume less energy, spend less money and to feel more in tune with nature. However, in this exceptionally humid summer, my body is more in tune, it is exhausted, but my mind is influenced by modern demands and expectations. I have this inner conflict about what I feel capable of doing and what I think I should be doing during these hot Aug. days: preparing my activities for the Fall, making a marketing plan to be contracted for more activities, research for new programs to develop. The air conditioned American in me is hard on myself and pushes my mind to get busy, but the Spaniard in me recognizes that the pace is different here, and just wants to kick my feet up in the shade and read.
Today at 100 degrees with high humidity and hormones I long for those air conditioned days where one can work and relax with out getting sweaty and sticky, one can sleep through the night without waking up drenched in sweat, the room full of light from the street lamps because it’s too hot to cover the open windows with curtains or shades. One has more energy, one is more productive, one is not so hard on oneself for feeling so tired and lazy in these long days of summer.

NOTHING

Prompt from Weekend Wordsmith:

I've had nothing to say, it's all too blue, self doubting, pessimistic. I do not want to ponder on the sad, on the worried, on the what if's, so I have stayed away. I was taught that if you have nothing good to say than don't say anything at all. Unconsciously I have been applying that to my blog this summer...and to my life. Nothing is wrong, nothing will be lost, nothing has changed, nothing, nothing, nothing - except something, somewhere inside.

Morning Haze

This morning haze,
oppressive and opaque,
clouds my view
confuses the horizon.

Blue sky and sea
suddenly greyed.
Light sunny days
now heavy with humidity.

Like lead,
it weighs me down.
Like a shrouded veil,
it impairs my vision.
Like depression,
it suffocates optimism and
resuscitates doubt and fear.

A Feast For The Eyes!

Sex In The City - the movie. I took my daughters and a couple of their friends to see the movie out of curiosity, to see what would finlly happen with Carrie and Big, looking to be entertained and looking for "cool" entertainment (as in air conditioned on a hot seaside day.) I didn't expect to like it so much, I didn't expect to think about it so much afterwards, and I didn't expect such a FEAST FOR THE EYES! (Nor to be so enchanted by the feast)

The clothes, the shoes..of course..., the way the women were put so perfectly together, their makeup, their hair, the accesories. Of course they had it all. Not to mention the new homes they decorated, the clubs and restaurants they went to: it was all like being at a luxurious buffet table, not sure where to start, and trying to be sure to save room for the desserts....Dante, Smith, even Steve....

I surprised myself at this reaction, as I am no longer the clothes fiend I was in my twenties, and have become quite against spending $500 on shoes or any other accessory for that matter, not to mention $5000 for a purse. My daughters now receive the lion's share of our household fashion budget, and anything over 50 Euros is a rare purchase in this household. I shudder to think what each outfit with all included was worth, and how many starving families in South America that money could feed. But I was enthralled, impressed, and for a short time envious. It was beautiful, and I fantasized about being a part of it. I guess that's part of the great succes of the series and the movie, the fantasies they inspire in us.

Then there's the friendship thing in that foursome that has kept so many of us, of such a wide range of ages, coming back season after season to feel a part of their evolution. When I asked my daughters after the movie why they thought it was so, my 18 year old wisely said "because we see ourselves reflected in them". I wondered in what part an 18 year old just beginning her adult life and sexual acitivity would see herself reflected, but refrained from asking - at that moment.

In which one do I see myself reflected? In only one? No I think there's a part of each of them in all of us, whether real or dreamed about. That's why we keep coming back season after season to cry, to laugh, to celebrate, to criticize with them, as if we too were at that breakfast table every week.

The movie has been floating around in my mind for much longer than most films do, and I keep asking myself why? I think because of the maturing, growing, evolving issues that it manifests. The questions of love and how it affects our lives. Commitment, self sacrifice for another, making changes and adaptions for the good of all, communication, forgiveness and becoming someone else as we mature. Where am I on all these issues, in my 40's like they are? I've been married for 21 years, have made the commitment, sacrifcie and adaptions, become someone different than I expected I'd be at this age, and thus the movie has made me think about it all. Am I happy with who I am and the way I've gotten here? Am I glad I don't need (read because I can't afford?) all those clothes and night clubs and status symbols to be happy and feel like I'm somebody. Would I be able to live as a single woman in New York, or any other major U.S. city for that matter? Would I want to? Maybe, sometimes, no, well perhaps in the future.

And as these questions slowly recede I come back to those peacock and rhinestone Manolo's and imagine what it might feel like to wear $500 high heels. Maybe I could last more than 20 minutes in those....maybe I could be just as gorgeous if I had all that money and time to spend on only me...

I look over my balcony from where I write this at the shimmering blue Med through swaying palms and remember my midnight skinny dip in our pool with my husband last night and think; girl you have a great life, come back from Hollywood fantasy and enjoy it!

Campeones, Campeones!

We can't take our eyes off the screen as tension builds towards the end of the 1-0 match !




Victory at last! Eurpean Champions after forty some years!! Our celebrating takes to the street and lasts for hours! Adults and kids alike....


Campeones, Campeones, Oh eee Oh eee Oh EE!

GOOOOOL! Football Unites!

Spain has been on it's non-relenting quest for the European Cup Football (soccer) championship since late May. The games in the qualifying rounds were all won easily, to qualify for quarter finals. Bit by bit Spanish flags began to appear on balconies and red Spain t-shirts became more prevelant. Spain won the quarter final game against our 80 year nemesis Italy, in a penalty kick shoot out in overtime. Trumpets and noise makers were blown, horns honked in plazas and on the streets, cheers and chants shouted off balconies and out back yards. More flags appeared on houses and aptartment terraces and cars begin to don the gold and red flag.

Tonight Spain beat Russia 3-0 in semi-finals to qualify for the final against Germany on Sunday for the first time in I don't know how many decades. More flags, a sea of red shirts, more noise making and celebrating, by basques, caltalans and everyone in bewteen. Our nationalist differences are set aside for a glorious few weeks to support our national football team and display a Spanish patriotism that is rarely visible and usually criticized when done so in non-sports circumstances.

What a glorious thing this Football that unites. More parties, more celebrations, more joy and a united Spain. GOOOOOOL!!! España! PODEMOS!

Beach, Bon Fires and Traditions

On the 23rd of June, the eve of the feast of St. John the Baptist (San Juan) Spain incorporates a pagan summer solstice tradition into the religious calendar. On this night, fire in many forms is the protagonist of ther festivities all over the country. Here in Málaga everyone goes to the beach, many bring elaborate bbq paraphanelia to roast chops, ribs, chorizos, sauges and / or sardines over open fires. Big pits are set up with lots of wooden stuff, (much salvaged from garbage and recycling centres) to ignite bonfires after midnight. The fire rids the soul of evil spirits, especially if you leap over the dancing flames. At midnight they go into the sea to cleanse and purify the soul, (or just for the crazy experience of it) for a blessed and bountiful summer. Then there are impressive fire work displays over the sea in most coastal towns.

My husband's family were not originally from Malaga nor a coastal town, and thus, did not initiate their kids into the tradition, so I dragged my husband to the beach (he hates big crowds) with a cold picninc and beers to feel part of the celebrations. It is great people watching, and it always amazes and impresses me. People of all ages and several nationalities party and celebrate side beside with no conflict, problems, nor run-ins. Family's with little kids, groups of teenagers, groups of twenty-somethings, older people, mid age groups. They enjoy and let enjoy, no judging, no harassing. They're all their, they're all happy, they're all elaborate in their food, fires and friends. I love it!

We were on our own, but ended up by chance close to my daughter and her huge school crowd. It was enlightening and comforting to see her, unaware of our presence, in her crowd. She laughed a lot, moved easliy from one group to another, and went completely into the water at midnight and again 30 minutes later - her and a bunch of mostly guys. I got cold just watching her.

As we waited for the fireworks my husband and I cuddled in the blanket, (the sea breeze was chilly to our 40 something bodies) and he sang me the classic romantic Spanish songs he used to sing to me and taped for me before we were married. Amongst noise and craziness of all kinds we managed to form our own little cocoon and just enjoy the stars, each other and the happiness of our daughter two groups over.

No bon fire leaping, no cleansing in the sea, but a positive way to start the summer, and enjoy the way everyone enjoys life and repects traditions here.

Storyteller

I am a Storyteller,
a provocateur of thought and reflection

Buried in my soul,
is the one of me that seeks to offer joy, inspire hope, awaken dreams

I transform my transparent self
into a magical mysterious enchantress
capable of casting a spell of new insight and understanding

There are tales
from ancient times and distant lands that I have been told to tell


This is one of my Sacred Contracts
to share different cultures, open doors, ignite imaginations,
and awaken understanding

I am a Storyteller,
a provocateur of thought and reflection

Meme from To Taste a Peach

What were you doing 10 years ago?
In 1998 –
We were preparing our move from Madrid to Malaga with great joy and anticipation, looking forward to leaving the big city and all of its disadvantages…and advantages, and embrace life by the sea, among family and in a house instead of an apartment.

I had recently realized I wanted to leave business and management consulting behind, and had begun creative writing again and other creative activities.

I had met and become friends with someone who was a help in that arena, then disappeared, and who has come back into my life as a catalyst in my new reading promotion activities now, 10 years later.

My mother was still alive, so important in the changes I have undergone from then to now.

My girls were 5 and 8, full of promise, excitement, wonder, fun… all in that innocent loving manner that changes in the teenage years we are experiencing today.

To do list for today-

Pick up house after 4 days away.
Go to grocery store
Lat day of Padel Class and group breakfast after
Fix a good healthy lunch for the family
Polish my writing pieces from my trip to send to friends and post on blog.
Meet with local bookstore owner to discuss summer and other future activities
Catch up on e-mails
Accompany my daughter to her favourite store to see the dress she wants
Get spoiling time for my husband who is going through difficult days at work.

What would you do if you were a billionaire?

To improve my own life I would change houses to one that had a separate guest house so that it would be easier for friends and family to spend time with us. It would not be a huge mansion but bigger than I have now with a bit more land. I would have a 2nd residence in the US. I would have daily help to do the cleaning washing house keeping and some some cooking, to leave me time to dedicate to creativity and developing other projects.
I would finance the volleyball team and youth sports project my husband would establish and run.

To improve the world I would set up a foundation, or become an influencing voice in an established one (money brings power and facilitates this) in order to help form businesses that work towards: reducing our dependency on oil; resolving water needs and related issues in third world countries; supporting and developing local entrepreneurs in those countries to be able to create jobs for their own people and develop their own country.

To improve the life of our family members I would offer a set amount for each sibling to allow them to own a home and/or start a business endeavour, and for each parent and/or aunt and uncle to allowi them to live comfortably and without financial worry in retirement.

4. What are three of your bad habits?
1. Procrastination
2. Leaving things out of place allowing clutter to collect and make the room messy.
3. Allowing the negative thoughts and chatter to spend time in my mind, slowing down my progress and growth.

5. What are some snacks you enjoy?
· Popcorn
· Chips and dip
· Nuts
· Cheese
· A cookie now and then and a square of chocolate or one Hershey Kiss

6. What were the last five books you read?
You must keep in mind that I earn my living (or a salary that one day will be enough to consider a living) through reading programs and creative writing workshops so I must read a lot. These books I read in May and June.
· The Zahir by Paolo Coehlo
· The Lady and the Unicorn by Tracy Chevalier
· Maridos (Husbands) by Angeles Mastretta (Mexican author)
· Elogio a una Madrastra (Ode to a Stepmother) by Vargas Llosa (Peruvian author)
· The Purple Hibuscus – A novel from Africa by a young African woman whose name I cannot recall.
· Three young adult short novels for the youth reading group I facilitate, including The Boy in the Striped Pajamas in both Spanish and English.

7. What are five jobs you have had?
1. Current – Story teller, reading promoter, creative writing coach.
2. Fundraiser then Fundraising and Communications Manager for local Cancer Hospice
3. Management Consultant focusing on systems improvement, then on Customer Service and Leadership.
4. Travel Agent
5. Airline ground agent

8. What are five places where you have lived?
1. Spain – Madrid, Barcelona, Granada, Malaga
2. USA – Washinton DC suburbs in Virginia (where I grew up)
3. San Diego (As a single adult)
4. Dallas Texas (As a single adult)
5. Phoenix Arizona (as a child)

9. What five people do you want to tag?
Vale of Evening Fog
Bonnie at Wordsmith
Frankelscence
Marginal Views

Food for Thought 1

This is from the article The Bus vs. the Bear from the Washington Post, written by Tom Howarth. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/05/23/AR2008052302610.html

" The former head of the Jesuit order, Father Peter-Hans Kolvenbach, once said that there are not enough resources in the world for all peoples to be brought up to middle-class American standards of living. Something has to give. We have to learn to slow down and live simpler lives so that others can simply live. "

What a quote, I love it! It reminds me of:

"Don't live within your means, but rather within your needs."
I think we all need to reconsider what we really "need" to live well and happy. Not Huge SUV's, $1000 designer handbags, 4000 sq feet of living space....
An insulated place to live that protects from the weather's worst faces, enough food and water to survive and keep healthy, a few outfits (vs. closets full of them) , decent health care, to name the important few.
Of course with what's happening with the prices of these, our means may soon only cover our basic "needs".
Why didn't we think of this sooner? Don't get me going on that one..or just read the previous post.

The Superclass - Definition, Comments and Reflections

They're Global Citizens. They're Hugely Rich. And They Pull the Strings.
By David RothkopfSunday, The Washington Post - May 4, 2008; B01

We didn't elect them. We can't throw them out. And they're getting more powerful every day.
Call them the superclass.
At the moment, Americans are fixated on the political campaign. In the meantime, many are missing a reality of the global era that may matter much more than their presidential choice: On an ever-growing list of issues, the big decisions are being made or profoundly influenced by a little-understood international network of business, financial, government, cultural and military leaders who are beyond the reach of American voters.
In addition to top officials, these people include corporate executives, leading investors, top bankers, media moguls, heads of state, generals, religious leaders, heads of terrorist and criminal organizations and a handful of important cultural and scientific figures. Each of these roughly 6,000 individuals is set apart by their power and ability to regularly influence millions of lives across international borders. The group is not monolithic, but none is more globalized or has more influence over the direction in which the global era is heading.

The above paragraphs were the opening of an interesting article from the Washington Post, that I sent to many of my firends and family. What it argues I have heard in conferences here in Spain and have been observing for a few years now. Scarey, truly scarey.

Below is just my own quick refelction and prediction on what will happen that I sent in an on-going e-mail conversation with my conservative uncle. It seems we are in agreement on the problem and plight. We just disagree tremendously on how to address it. (See earlier article on Proud to be a Liberal)

" The superclass exists in all of the developed parts of the world. Question is whether they really want to see wealth redistributed in a more equitable manner."

" It’s so true in the First World in general, although the social safety nets here in Europe , (health care, unemployment, training, housing help) help keep the middle class from falling into poverty levels when difficult times, like now, come. I think this difficult period is the beginning of major changes, and getting through them is gonna’ be tough, with or without the safety nets. I truly believe a major shift is coming, and the US will perhaps be a big loser. Things are so out of balance globally– the environment, our values…consume, consume, consume, to keep an economy going when other people’s food chain and supplies are declining or non-existant,, the declining value of human life for so many, the pace we try and keep up with to keep earning to keep spending, which keeps worsening the environment, which hurts the have nots more than the haves….like I said out of balance. "
Well, how did I get there? I just have been observing it from that perspective for a long time.

Mother's Day

My Daughter's and I in Paris in Feb.

I celebrate Mother's Day twice. The first celebration is for me as a mother, I celebrated it last Sunday on Spain’s Mother’s Day. I gave myself a lovely day, decided to stay home and not go out among the noisy Spanish throng of extended families, but rather, enjoy the peace and tranquility of our own garden that my husband has been working on for days. It looks so impressive, the pool is clean, the fountain’s running. So our comida, just the fours of us, on our patio was prettier than any restaurant could offer. I did a leg of lamb on our gas BBQ and served it with the new potatoes steamed with butter and parsley, green beans, baby broccoli and beets from the garden of my new organic supplier, even made a gravy with the lamb juices, MMMmmmm. I made a pear crumble for dessert and served it with ice cream. A Rioja Reserva, and a quiet afternoon. Couldn’t have asked for more! Did lots of reading in the sun in the morning and then again after lunch while my husband watched tennis and the girls, who had late nights the night before, had naps. It felt good not to have any obligation of any kind at any time. Can’t remember the last time I had a day like that…Well today is sort of like that.

Today, the second Mother's Day celebration, on America's Mother's Day I celebrate for my mother. It was the Cudeca Cancer Hospice (where I used to work) Walkathon this morning, the 6th edition. This is the first year I was NOT involved in the organization of it, so I walked as a participant. I thought it was the appropriate way of remembering my Mom who died of cancer 7 years ago. Afterwards, I sat for awhile and enjoyed the entertainment with a girlfriend, who lost her mother a few months ago to cancer, a patient of the hospice, and we talked about how the parts of the walk we did alone were important to us.

She called me later at home and told me she'd done some writing when she got home and had written something for me. Then she read me a poem in English (she's Argentinian) about how we were not alone, but how our Mom's were there, carrying us along, folding us in their silk and cotton, from both sides of the ocean. Of course tears came, and I could barely speak, but I was so touched by how insightful it was and how special a gift she gave me on Mother's Day.

I like having two days, one for me and one for her, never shining one over the other, each celebrated for all they mean independantly.

A long way to my heart

It is a long way to my heart, that phrase has been in my mind when I've thought of my journal writing lately. Why is it a long way to my heart? It seems to me that it is just under the surface, close, always open and reaching out. How can it be a long way to my heart? Is it buried? Buried under what? Under my husband and kids, under my work? Or has it run off to a distant place? Is that place my homeland, my family my roots? That must be it, since as I write these lines emotions rise up in my chest, tears well and would fall if I let them. My homeland; I often criticise it from afar, but secretly I long to know how I might feel, back in its bosom. My roots, my family; I long to see my brother -rekindle our comraderie, to enjoy his wife's optimisim. I miss his children and dream of being a more active presence in their lives. His oldest, 11, so much like him physically, is he personality wise? I don't know, but I think so. His second, 8, so determined in his quests, whatever they have been, may be and may become at each stage of his growing up. And his little girl, 5, so cute, so like my mother in her looks, has she got my mother's soul?

That must be where my heart is, in that faraway place of my homeland, my family, my roots. I soon will go after it and that other part of me, in the United States.

The Story Lady

I am the Story Lady, El Hada de los Cuentos. Last Spring while lying in bed, thinking of my creative writing workshop endeavors, a vision came to me of myself reading stories to children in the beautiful park we enjoy in the heart of our town. So I found an image that I liked, made up the name, and decided to go to the park two evenings a week to do this reading. I mentioned it to the Library Director, a friend of mine, who put in touch with proper authorities to get "permission" to do this. Of course a free, cultural, beneficial activity, received full support from the Town Hall.

I chose different children's books each week from the library, and agreed to "borrow" and return undamaged newer titles from the local book store, and set off to do my reading.

I chose peak playground days and time: Tuesdays and Fridays at 8pm (Spanish hours you know) and brought with me a beach chair for me to sit on, a blanket for the kids to sit on, a homemade easle and poster to present the endeavor. I made flyers anouncing the activity, the days and times of my reading, and the books read that week, and handed them out to all the parents with their kids at the playground.

The first day I had 6 - 8 kids.

As July progressed the crowd grew, and a following developed: kids and their parents came specifically to hear the Story Lady. I don't know who enjoyed it more: me, the kids or the parents?

This has lead to paid reading activities for both adults and kids, in both Spanish and English through the Library. Regular paid readings at local book stores, and now I'm being approached by local publisher's sales teams to work for them in their promotional activities.

With the arrival of good weather and daylight until 9pm I am back at the park one Saturday a moth and will be there once a week in the summer, this time paid by the library. This vision has become my new path, that brings me and so many others such pleasure. I love sharing with others how ENJOYABLE reading is - for all ages and of all types of books. I am the Story Lady and my following is growing.

Take Me Back - Weekend Wordsmith

Take me back to swings and mountain breeze
Take me back to grandma's pancakes and biscuits
Take me back to the comfort and security of that crackling fire

Take me back to days of long awaited homecomings
Take me back to my favourite meals and flowers on the dresser
Take me back to being cherished and spoiled

Take me back to Redskins games on cold fall days
Take me back to the warmth of your laughter and strength of your wisdom
Take me back to story time cuddled against your side

Take me back to slow summer days filled with imagination and laziness
Take me back to playing in the creek, catching fireflies, grandpapa's piano
Take me back to garden vegetables picked that day for supper, and homemade pies for dessert

Take me back to those care free childhood times
When I was loved, protected, cherished, free to be
Take me back to those warm, wonderful embraces
when time stood still and I just was.....

Menu Follow Up

The Sunday Menu:

White fish fillets pan grilled with herbs
Accompanied by a mushroom white wine cream sauce
Garlic Rice
Steamed Aspragus
Fresh Fruit Salad

All plates bread mopped clean!

Served at a properly set table with lit candle and background Spanish ballads playing, catalyst to conversation about details of weekend activities and dates, laughter about silly anecdotes from school, memories from our own teen years and plans for the week's activities.

That's why I'm still motivated to prepare and serve proper, healthy meals, they are the catalyst and foundation to family conversation and communication in a time when TV's, computers, telephones, activities, keep us all in our own individual worlds!

What's on the Menu?

Menu:

Queso y Fruta
Verduras Crudas con “dip” especial
Roscos
Vichysoisse
Ensalada del Mar
Crepes de delicias del bosque con espárragos
Postre de fruta y chocolate
Vino Blanco y Cava

I spend a lot of time thinking about “what’s on the menu.” Out of nowhere I’ll ask my husband what he’d like to eat the next day for our “comida” (our main meal that we eat between 2 and 3pm, as is the Spanish tradition). Or he’ll ask me on a night that we both lay restless in bed what I’m thinking about, and I’ll answer “what I’m going to fix for comida tomorrow.”
“How can you think about food all the time, when you’re not even hungry?”
How do I explain it’s not only the food, but also how to schedule my day in order to fix the food, that I’m planning. It’s all based on the workshops I have, the time a dish takes to prepare, if I need leftovers because I won’t be home for lunch later in the week, and finally any ingredients I might need. Well, and of course, what I feel like eating, since they usually don’t tell me what they’d like to eat when I ask.

When I pick my 15 year old daughter up from school I ask what she has eaten at school (she’s the only one who doesn’t eat at home during the week, because of her school schedule) so that I can pick our supper menu accordingly, filling in the things she missed out on, and not repeating eggs or meat. Our supper is usually like an American lunch: sandwiches, soup, maybe an omelet, a salad, or a pasta dish. Often everyone makes their own, but the proper, healthy ingredients must be there.

I put a lot of my mental and physical energy in this meal planning, and the shopping that goes along with it. This supermarket here for lowest prices, this fresh vegetable shop there where the things are locally grown and, although not guaranteed organic, are more naturally produced and more flavorful. The market with the best fish this week, the butchers with the locally grown meet next week, to stock the freezer. (Luckily all this is affordable and easily available here on the Costa del Sol.) The meals must be healthy, which means no pre-prepared, highly processed ingredients. They must be balanced, which means: at least two kinds of vegetables; not huge amounts of protein; a healthy carbohydrate, and not high in fats. (OK I know many diets say we should eat proteins and carbs separately, but I often serve them together.) And legumes at least once a week. (I learned that from my Spanish mother in law.) I try and get us all to eat at least 5 servings of fruits and vegetables a day, not always successfully but at least it’s a conscious objective. My daughters have been hearing since they’ve been little “You have to eat your green today!”

In my planning I must keep in mind what my daughters like, so that they will fill up on this healthy meal I serve, and not the junk food they can get while they’re in town if they’ve only eaten a little because they didn’t like it. I have tried to teach them to eat everything, but…well if you’re a Mom you know how it goes.

I love to use leftovers. My challenge to myself is how to use something leftover to make a completely new and different dish. My record was at a family gathering where I used 7 things from two previous meals to make the most delicious Shepherds Pie that everyone loved.

This is the veggie pasta casserole that I made for comida this week with ground beef and chicken (broken up patties that thawed when my husband generously defrosted the freezer the night before) and sautéed zucchini and red pepper salad left over from two different meals earlier in the week, plus an array of other freshly added veggies herbs, and parmesan cheese. Not bad for making it up when I went to bed the night before trying to figure out how to feed three adults with three thin patties that had just thawed out by mistake.

And this is my version of a Greek salad I served that evening for supper, with leftover steamed green beans and broccoli thrown in that would have turned bad if I didn’t use them up quick. We had more than our 5 servings of fruit and vegetables that day!

So what’s on the menu for tomorrow? Come back and find out, I haven’t looked in the freezer (nor gone to bed) yet!

Letting Go

I have let go of the assumption that my daughters will go to university.
I have let go of pre-determined images of their adult lives.
I have let go of assuming that being intellectual is the key to their happiness and success;
- it is my key, but not everyone's.
I have let go of my desires for more and more material possessions;
- they are acquiring theirs.
I have let go of the notion that I can still "guide" my daughters;
- I can only love them and make myself available to support them when they feel they need it.
I have let go of the assumption that they will live and love like me.
I have let go of the sermons of why living like me, or like I think they should live, should be their living path.

It is a challenging road, this one of letting go.
It has been a gradual realization as we have advanced along our path;
- my values of a different generation and a different culture are not the same values by which they navigate their lives in today's Spain.

I can only hope that the core values of love, respect, integrity, understanding and giving, that we have shown them by our life examples, will have influenced them more than our words of sermons and lecturing have done.

Of all these things, as a mother, I have let go....or so I tell myself.....but have they let go of me?

From my journal dated March 17th 08

Proud to be a Liberal

I've been going round and round with this notion since early last week when I saw a CNN report on the U.S. elections that claimed that Barak Obama may have difficulty in the General Election if he cannot free himself from the liberal label. (That, of course, the Republicans and their cronies at Fox and the rest paste on Obama every chance they get) The report showed footage of one of Obama's appearances on the campaign trail going through a list of his stands and explaining why they are not liberal, as if being liberal were something terribly wrong and to be ashamed of!

Why, over the past decade or so, has it become such a negative thing to be considered a liberal? The conservatives and neo-cons are proud to stand up and defend their labels, so why don't the democrats do the same thing?

In these musings I did a Google search for the definitions of the two labels. Here are the ones which encompassed all the definitions found:

Merriam Webster Dictionary:

liberalism
Main Entry:
lib·er·al·ism
Pronunciation:
\ˈli-b(ə-)rə-ˌli-zəm\
Function:
noun
1: the quality or state of being liberal2a. often capitalized : a movement in modern Protestantism emphasizing intellectual liberty and the spiritual and ethical content of Christianity b: a theory in economics emphasizing individual freedom from restraint and usually based on free competition, the self-regulating market, and the gold standard c: a political philosophy based on belief in progress, the essential goodness of the human race, and the autonomy of the individual and standing for the protection of political and civil liberties dcapitalized : the principles and policies of a Liberal party.

From the On Line Free Dictionary:

lib·er·al
play_w("L0148700")
(lbr-l, lbrl)
adj.
1.
a. Not limited to or by established, traditional, orthodox, or authoritarian attitudes, views, or dogmas; free from bigotry.
b. Favoring proposals for reform, open to new ideas for progress, and tolerant of the ideas and behavior of others; broad-minded.
c. Of, relating to, or characteristic of liberalism.
d. Liberal Of, designating, or characteristic of a political party founded on or associated with principles of social and political liberalism, especially in Great Britain, Canada, and the United States.

What is there to be ashamed of in these definitions? In this fast changing, globalized world, where nothing is the same as it was 5 years ago, we need to to be "not limited to or by established, traditional, orthodox or authoritarian attitudes.." It is a time when we need to be "favoring proposals for reform, open to new ideas for progress and tolerant of the ideas and behaviour of others.." These are the principals that business and industry have been adhering to on order to grow and succeed in this fast paced High Tech Information Age.

Now take a look at the defintions for Conervatism:

\kən-ˈsər-və-ˌti-zəm\
Function:
noun
1capitalized a: the principles and policies of a Conservative party b: the Conservative party2 a: disposition in politics to preserve what is established b: a political philosophy based on tradition and social stability, stressing established institutions, and preferring gradual development to abrupt change; specifically : such a philosophy calling for lower taxes, limited government regulation of business and investing, a strong national defense, and individual financial responsibility for personal needs (as retirement income or health-care coverage)3: the tendency to prefer an existing or traditional situation to change.

From The Free Dictionary

con·ser·va·tive
play_w("C0581800")
(kn-sûrv-tv)
adj.
1. Favoring traditional views and values; tending to oppose change.
2. Traditional or restrained in style: a conservative dark suit.
3. Moderate; cautious: a conservative estimate.
4.
a. Of or relating to the political philosophy of conservatism.
b. Belonging to a conservative party, group, or movement.

With conservatives trying to "favor these traditional views and values.., and preserve what is established.." the United States now: suffers a worrisome large gap between the haves and the have nots; struggles with mistrust and fear of those who represent change and progress; has implemented constitutionally questioable methods in the name of "conserving" America and its freedoms. These are all catlysts to the strong division bewteen and the low tolerance of one for the other that the nation suffers today. (United we stand - Divided we fall) And yet the Conservatives continue to stand up proudly for their Conservative Values, while disdainfully criticising those supporting Liberal Values.

I am disappointed that Mr. Obama did not stand up, define and defend the Liberal label and then proudly declare that yes he is a Liberal. According to all definitions I found, he is. By not doing so, he has allowed the Conservatives to succeed at converting the Liberal label into something degrading, fearful and shameful. The shame is that the liberals do not stand up and return the respectable term to its rightful, repsectful place in the U.S. political debate and options.

I share with you just such a defense that I found on my Google search:

A Liberal Definition by John F. Kennedy:
Acceptance Speech of the New York Liberal Party Nomination
September 14, 1960
What do our opponents mean when they apply to us the label "Liberal?" If by "Liberal" they mean, as they want people to believe, someone who is soft in his policies abroad, who is against local government, and who is unconcerned with the taxpayer's dollar, then the record of this party and its members demonstrate that we are not that kind of "Liberal." But if by a "Liberal" they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people -- their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, and their civil liberties -- someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad, if that is what they mean by a "Liberal," then I'm proud to say I'm a "Liberal." (The rest of his speech can be found http://www.liberalparty.org/JFKLPAcceptance.html )

Mr. Obama, you missed the chance to draw another parallel of yourself to Mr. J.F. Kennedy on this one, and to once again eloquently expose and defend the "liberal" values of reform, progress and change that your campaign represents.

Something Lost

Something Lost

The assignment this week for the Creative Writing Group I facilitate is to write about something lost. I have been searching my imagination for a lost thing to write about, something tangible that falls behind a sofa or gets left behind in a cafeteria, but I keep coming back to non-tangibles.

Innocence lost, that happens over a period of time.
Virginity lost that happens once, in a moment.
Friendship lost that can happen over time or suddenly over an incident.
Childhood lost, left behind, forgotten or buried.
Opportunity lost, from procrastination or indecision.
Love lost through fear, selfishness or self-protection, in one form or another.
Trust lost, through lies, betrayal, or seemingly unimportant inconsistencies between words and actions.
Respect lost because of immoral, unethical, compromising behavior.

But I come back to tangibles and my mind jumps to jewelry that belonged to my mother. Crystal vases, glasses and china that belonged to my grandmothers.
Books and letters from my father.
Then I realize, it is not their things I fear losing.
It is their unconditional love, their encouragement, their comfort, their support, their physical presence and embraces in my life, which those things symbolize, that I have lost, and will not recover in this lifetime.

Something Lost.

Happy Easter

Happy Easter!

May the joy of His resurrection, the gift of His love and comfort fill your Easter and Spring.

Give thanks for the many blessings He has generously bestowed on all of us as you look to Him for guidance in these challenging times!

Amongst my thanks for such abundant blessings, I've been feeling rather lost today, with my Holy Week traditional Spanish processions behind us and missing those joyous Easter morning masses with jubilant music, a lovely large family meal (I did have one for just the 4 of us though)Easter baskets, etc..How can two celebrations of the same holy day from the same religion be so different? Spain focuses on the Passion, the suffering, the death, then it seems the Resurrection is an after thought a let down. In the US, the focus on the joy, the miracle, the meaning of the Resurrection. Perhaps it is a reflection of the cultural differences of the two countries. Or perhaps the cultural differences are a reflection of these very different religious focuses.

Weekend Wordsmith - Vintage Postcard

Vintage postcard arrives many years too late ~ what did the sender write?

Seven southern states I can see, but I can't see you.

Luscious lakes, trees and hills I can see, but I can't see you.

I miss you my love, and now I know

I want you to be the first lovely sight I see each mornng of my life.

If I see you at this spot on April 3rd I will know your question stands,

and my answer will be yes.

Waiting to see and love you,

Louisa

Exercise Update

It felt GREAT to be back in the pool after having been away for months since the indoor facility was closed for reapirs. Although my back hurts (long term results from a herniated disc operation 18 yrs ago and lack of recent exercise) and there are some sore muscles, it feels good. In my New Years resolution to look at the positive in all situations, the soreness is an indication that I am exercising again, which my middle age body needs to work best, and that I have taken the first step in getting into a shape where there will be less pain. All positive things. Not to mention how the quiet alone time under water helps my mental health too! Yes this is healthy living.

The hard, healthy road of January

In my attempt to drop the few kilos I gained with all the Christmas sweets and lack of exercise I stopped eating sweets yesterday, have kept wine in take to one glass per meal since the weekend, and played padel yesterday and today for an hour. My body aches all over, energy level is low, and I’m exhausted…… is this supposed to be healthy living?

Materialism of our times as seen in modern shopping malls

It is the day before Three Kings, the most important gift-giving day in Spain. A shopping madhouse day like Christmas Eve in the U.S. I read the posts by Absolute Vanilla and Baino on materialism and remembered the below piece in my "draft" box since Oct. Note that my described feelings of over-stimulated and bombarded have been at least duplicated in Dec. and Jan. I don't even want to imagine the sales crowds (which begin Jan. 7th here) when my daughters will spend the gift certificates and birthday money they receive over these dates, and ask for my help.
So here is my humble response to the over-materialism of our times as seen in modern shopping malls.

I had to wait 45 minutes until I had agreed to meet someone at a coffee place at a local mall the other day, so I decided to 'go shopping' by myself (i.e. without 2 teenagers dragging me from one hip store to another) to see the new fashion trends for the Fall, maybe look for new bras I desperately needed, but hated the thought of shopping for. After 50 minutes I couldn't wait to get out!

My senses felt bombarded:

• a different electronic music in each shop, (that awful kind they have found makes us purchase more. I think we purchase more because we can't think straight and can't wait to get out so we just decide to buy quickly to find reprieve from the music - I especially find this in the 'hip' stores my daughters drag me to.)
• bright colors of glitzy stuff on top of every surface, especially in these kiosks now placed along the middle of the mall corridor to sell us more stuff we don't need
• over layered, color coordinated outfits in every shop window that remind me of how out of style all my perfectly fine and color coordinated clothes I already own are
• smells of every ethnic kind of food I never thought I'd be hungry for, from the bi-level food court half way down the mall.

Once the coffee was had and business taken care of, it was a reprieve to get in my car. To close out the noise, the materialism, the feel of frenzy. I drove home slowly, admiring the glimpses of the sea I got between new apt. buildings, restaurants and hotels (more materialism I tried to ignore) calming myself with classical music and the thought of home and the new color coordinated outfits I could pull together from the comfort clothes in my closet, acquired from an array of places, the least of which were shopping malls, over the years.(I'd have to wait another two months before I replaced those old bras)

I did it again

I did it again, I went visiting my blog friends when I had some time for myself, and I spent so much time, reading, commenting, and linking that I didn't do any of my own writing or reading that I had planned to do as soon as I just "stopped by" a couple of favorites. Now my husband has returned, my daughters will soon need to be picked up from their outings, and the calm, silence for reading novels and reflective writing, which I was finally getting to, has been interrupted. I did it again, I enjoyed it, but it kept me from other important activities..I'll no doubt repeat it again soon......
sounds like a possible addiction, what do you think?

New Years Wishes

In my wishes for the New Year I desire for everyone:

Good health

Love

Clearness of what you want

Insight into what you're meant to do

Opportunity, close Support and Guidance and personal strength and will on how to work towards and achieve it

Peace with yourself

Peace with others

Time for reflection, relaxation, appreciation and enjoyment of life.

May you find all these blessings along your path in 2008!