I Believe

I’ve been writing form different prompts lately and just wanted to share what came from:

I Believe….

I believe in God.
I believe people want to be generally good but for fear and criticism they don’t allow themselves to be.
I believe happiness is possible - as a way of being content with and accepting of oneself.
I believe in love and forgiveness - of oneself and others.
I believe God has given us all special gifts…and positive things to do with them.
I believe in the Law if Attraction: You get what you give - What goes around comes around - Positive generates positive - Clear vision of what you want helps it become reality

I believe in my husband and children.
I believe I have the ability to do what I need to.
I believe in life after death, heaven, reincarnation in the soul’s journey towards God’s precious light.
I believe we have to learn all the time - about ourselves, others, the world.
I believe I can help others feel good about themselves.
I believe in their inner beauty and want to help them find it.
I believe we on Earth are in a process of change.
I believe the power holders have taken us too far away from the natural balance of things and that from a grass roots movement we are struggling to pull it back.
I believe it will be hard and scary, as all major power shifts have been, but..
I believe our survival depends on it and we will be better off on the other side of the hardships.
I believe in enjoying life - its simple pleasures: sunrises and sunsets; moonshine twinkling on the sea; birdsong and green light swaying among the trees.
I believe in giving before taking.
I believe in laughing a lot.
I believe we’re happy because we sing and dance vs. we sing and dance because we’re happy.
I believe God loves me and blesses me.
I believe in Love.

My soul whispers

The birds are talking to each other, offering their morning greetings. Swallows, sparrows, mourning doves, and the black bird like species whose name I do not know, but whose cawing I've come to recognize. A mist covers the sea I contemplate from my terrace and a cool breeze comes from levante - the East - and tickles my face.

A rare morning with no school runs to make, appointments to get to, exercise class to attend, errands to tend to. It is glorious, this

quiet morning to myself for writing and reflection. Silence, stillness allows me to finally hear the birds and hear my soul. It is aching to talk to me but lately the ringing in my ears drowns out my soul's whispers. Now I feel them stirring, the ringing has disappeared, I can close my eyes, calm my breathing and listen. I want to hear my soul, hear God's inner voice, feel His wisdom, recognize His blessings. My soul knows it already, I just have to listen.

Life Moves On the Sea

Life moves on. It’s almost the end of May and what have I done since I left my “real job” in February in a leap of blind faith? Re-established my old writing group – not too successfully so far; created a children’s creative writing program - still trying to sell it to children’s summer day camps; joined a new writing group for better feedback; reduced my daily stress; gone back to fixing healthy family meals; put exercise back in my routine: I’ve gone back to creativity and nurturing, but it isn’t close to generating the income I need – or think I need. So I tell myself focus on it and do it, why am I hesitating? I come back to this ALL THE TIME, so just get on with it and do it – focus, organize your time, create and go for it!

What about the Creativity Center project? Yeah what about it? Win the lottery, put it off, borrow money, find a partner, what to do? What can’t I move forward with both ideas? Organize my time and put in the blocks to make it happen – schedule, schedule, organize, organize.

But I want to become poetic and insightful – inspirational and embracing. Don’t push life, let it push me. Like the current at the sea’s edge, I shall allow myself to be gently taken to and fro in directions I do not choose. Is my faith strong enough to allow it to happen without turning over and swimming myself towards one direction and then another? Float and be buoyed by the embracing water, relax and let its gentle in and out of the tide take me to where it may, enjoy the rocking, the easy pulling; there is no storm raging, no dangerous rocks nearby. Float on His sea, trust God to take me where He may, He will not let me sink while relaxed in His warm waters. He knows where He wants me to go. Relax, relax, enjoy, enjoy. Life moves on the sea.

A Mother Daughter Embrace

We have spent my lifetime intertwining like vines,
Sometimes one supporting another,
Sometimes one smothering the other,
But forever one dependant on the other;
Always loving each other.

It has taken us years of reaching and growing
to achieve the perfect balance allowing
bright spring blooming,
strong summer growth,
or tranquil winter repose
in preparation of flowering anew.

Our eternal embrace nourishes us and makes us strong.

God has blessed us well.

jan 2001

Does anyone ever get over losing their mother?

With Mother's Day upon us, I share some of my views about my mother, me and our relationship. I am sure there are many women who experience this same unsettling expereince.

Dear Mom,

Does everyone take so long to get over losing their mother? Perhaps the question is does anyone ever get over losing their mother? Five plus years and the hurt still lingers. The hole no longer gapes, but it remains open.

How can I think of you less? When I see my hands, it’s like seeing your hands. (Did you realize how much I used to look at your hands….and feet?) With your rings on the same fingers on my hands as on yours, they become your hands; the shape of my nails is an imprint of yours; the skin crinckles over my knuckles in the same pattern.

When I catch an unexpected glimpse of myself in the mirror, my nose and mouth surrounded by freckles are the reflection of yours not my own. Did you realize how much I used to watch you in front of the mirror at your bathroom sink? How you washed your face: my movements unconsciously mimmick yours. How you combed and brushed your hair: my strokes are the same as yours. How you applied your creams and makeup: my circular motions are a mirror image of yours. How can I allow you to recede into the background when I see you daily in my reflection in the mirror?

My pot-belly, non-toned leg muscles and droopy b&b’s (butt and boobs) are following the same aging pattern.

You are in me, I am part of you, even in your absence. And these daily reminders keep the hole of that absence close to the surface.