Morning Haze

This morning haze,
oppressive and opaque,
clouds my view
confuses the horizon.

Blue sky and sea
suddenly greyed.
Light sunny days
now heavy with humidity.

Like lead,
it weighs me down.
Like a shrouded veil,
it impairs my vision.
Like depression,
it suffocates optimism and
resuscitates doubt and fear.

A Feast For The Eyes!

Sex In The City - the movie. I took my daughters and a couple of their friends to see the movie out of curiosity, to see what would finlly happen with Carrie and Big, looking to be entertained and looking for "cool" entertainment (as in air conditioned on a hot seaside day.) I didn't expect to like it so much, I didn't expect to think about it so much afterwards, and I didn't expect such a FEAST FOR THE EYES! (Nor to be so enchanted by the feast)

The clothes, the shoes..of course..., the way the women were put so perfectly together, their makeup, their hair, the accesories. Of course they had it all. Not to mention the new homes they decorated, the clubs and restaurants they went to: it was all like being at a luxurious buffet table, not sure where to start, and trying to be sure to save room for the desserts....Dante, Smith, even Steve....

I surprised myself at this reaction, as I am no longer the clothes fiend I was in my twenties, and have become quite against spending $500 on shoes or any other accessory for that matter, not to mention $5000 for a purse. My daughters now receive the lion's share of our household fashion budget, and anything over 50 Euros is a rare purchase in this household. I shudder to think what each outfit with all included was worth, and how many starving families in South America that money could feed. But I was enthralled, impressed, and for a short time envious. It was beautiful, and I fantasized about being a part of it. I guess that's part of the great succes of the series and the movie, the fantasies they inspire in us.

Then there's the friendship thing in that foursome that has kept so many of us, of such a wide range of ages, coming back season after season to feel a part of their evolution. When I asked my daughters after the movie why they thought it was so, my 18 year old wisely said "because we see ourselves reflected in them". I wondered in what part an 18 year old just beginning her adult life and sexual acitivity would see herself reflected, but refrained from asking - at that moment.

In which one do I see myself reflected? In only one? No I think there's a part of each of them in all of us, whether real or dreamed about. That's why we keep coming back season after season to cry, to laugh, to celebrate, to criticize with them, as if we too were at that breakfast table every week.

The movie has been floating around in my mind for much longer than most films do, and I keep asking myself why? I think because of the maturing, growing, evolving issues that it manifests. The questions of love and how it affects our lives. Commitment, self sacrifice for another, making changes and adaptions for the good of all, communication, forgiveness and becoming someone else as we mature. Where am I on all these issues, in my 40's like they are? I've been married for 21 years, have made the commitment, sacrifcie and adaptions, become someone different than I expected I'd be at this age, and thus the movie has made me think about it all. Am I happy with who I am and the way I've gotten here? Am I glad I don't need (read because I can't afford?) all those clothes and night clubs and status symbols to be happy and feel like I'm somebody. Would I be able to live as a single woman in New York, or any other major U.S. city for that matter? Would I want to? Maybe, sometimes, no, well perhaps in the future.

And as these questions slowly recede I come back to those peacock and rhinestone Manolo's and imagine what it might feel like to wear $500 high heels. Maybe I could last more than 20 minutes in those....maybe I could be just as gorgeous if I had all that money and time to spend on only me...

I look over my balcony from where I write this at the shimmering blue Med through swaying palms and remember my midnight skinny dip in our pool with my husband last night and think; girl you have a great life, come back from Hollywood fantasy and enjoy it!

Campeones, Campeones!

We can't take our eyes off the screen as tension builds towards the end of the 1-0 match !




Victory at last! Eurpean Champions after forty some years!! Our celebrating takes to the street and lasts for hours! Adults and kids alike....


Campeones, Campeones, Oh eee Oh eee Oh EE!