Weekend in Madrid

Madrid was the first city I lived in, in Spain and it is the city I moved back to four times. Now it is the city that I visit when I need to feel sophisticated, urban, in vogue, challenged; perhaps independant and decisive again. I spent the early Dec. long

weekend there with my almost 18 year old daughter, just the two of us. We had planned

on seeing the Prado Friday morning before the shopping district, you know to get at least some culture in before admiring the designer's windows and perhaps buying a thing or two. Then Saturday was to be dedicated to catching up with old friends and family, and Sunday to a photographic session with a cousin for my daughter's modelling book.

All went according to plan except the Prado visit! I haven't seen such lines since....well I think ever! I can't even imagine how long it would have taken, it was 4 or 5 people wide and it ran almost the entire length of the museum and around the corner. Instead we opted to visit the elegant Ritz hotel, take a stroll down memory lane past landmarks that marked my first year in Spain,

pay a visit to the huge nativity scene in the emblematic Cibeles building, have a coffee at Starbucks, which has not yet reached the Costa del Sol (thank goodness!) as we walked our way up to the shopping district.

First stop Mallorca - pastry shop, bakery, delicatassen, caterer - all in one - a gournet's delight...

Second stop Jardin de Serrano elite shopping arcade...I used to aspire to dressing from those

type of boutiques, my times and values have changed - this trip confirmed that - next stops - shops more affordable and attuned to our life style. We acquired a few shopping bags, tired feet, sore backs and a fabulous lunch at the Hard Rock Cafe.

We stayed with long time friends from (our (my husband's and mine) college and early double dating days, who then became our next door neighbors for 4 years in Madrid. It reminded me that some friendships are forever and full of comfort, understanding, comraderie and laughter no matter how much time and distance passes bewteen visits. Our Saturday spent with another friend and her familhy and then my husband's great aunt and cousin continued to fill me with love and laughter and memories of old times and just plain feel good energy.

Sara's (my daughter see above and below) photography session went better than expected by all, I think, and we hope the photos will help her advance her career when she visits the agencies in Madrid in January with her agency rep. from here in Malaga.

Not to mention the great talks that Sara and I shared on the 5 hour drive to and from, in a non aggressive and non-challenging atmosphere and tone. Not always easy to attain in a busy life with two teen agers. I learned things about her, I hope she also learned things about me and life's values too. Those lessons are so hard to communicate but a weekend like this perhaps is a BIG HELP!

So did I feel independant, sophisticated, urban, in vogue, and decisive? To some extent, but in a less invigorating way than I did when I was in my 20's. And I was glad to leave the hustle, bustle, expensive sophistication, noise and cold behind, for my suburban, tranquil, sunny and sometimes indecisive life on the Med.

Fill Your Heart With Thanksgiving

May you count many blessings in your thankfulness today and EVERYDAY.

I found this poem in a book I have been referring to lately for inspiration, meditation and refelction, copyrighted in 1974 that I bought for my Mom around 1998 in a used book store in Reston, Va. It proves that deep truths never get old or go out of fashion. Perhaps we just have to remind ourselves of them more often in this time of harsh media and materialism.

Fill Your Heart With Thanksgiving

Take nothing for granted,
For whatever you do
The joy of enjoying
Is lessened for you –
For we rob our own lives
Much more than we know
When we fail to respond
Or in any way show
Our thanks for the blessings
That daily are ours…
The warmth of the sun,
The fragrance of the flowers,
The beauty of twilight,
The freshness of dawn,
The coolness of dew
On a green velvet lawn,
The kind little deeds
So thoughtfully done,
The favors of friends,
And the love that someone
Unselfishly gives us
In a myriad of ways,
Expecting no payment
And no words of praise-
Oh, great id our loss
When we no longer find
A thankful response
To things of this kind,
For the joy of enjoying
And the fullness of living
Are found in the heart
That is filled with thanks-
Giving.
Helen Steiner Rice

Mind Mapping Results

In one of my workshops, we did an exercise with Mind Mapping or Clustering and below are my resulting poems from this brainstorming, word-association like, technique.

Clustering or Mind Mapping - This is a technique similar to brain storming. A key word or idea (prompt) is written in a circle in the middle of a page. You draw a line form that first circle to the next circle in which you write the first word or image that the prompt triggered, then continue circles outwards with the words and images that this line of thought produces. When a new line of thought starts, draw a second line from the key word and develop that one out until it dries up and start on a third. There may be sub-branches or clusters as you a develop a more complex concept or memory. Continue this process until you have exhausted all the ideas that the prompt word triggers. When you go back and analyze the lines of thought produced you will more than likely find rich material for a personal story, a poem or a developed narrative.

Choose two of the following words, do a mind map for each then try and write a poem from the results.
Bridges, The Moon, Friendship. Mirror

MIRROR
The mirror reflects me
But who am I?
Is the refelction accurate?
Do I like it?
Is it what others see?

The mirror reflects me
But who am I?
Am I what you see?
Am I what I see?

Perhaps I'm what I feel.
Perhaps I'm what you feel.
Perhaps I'm all of these and yet none.
The mirror refelcts me
But who am I?

BRIDGES

Build me a bridge
Hang it over this gap
that separates me from
...from the other me.

Build me a bridge
help me cross it
get over the precipice
to the safety of the distant shore.

Build me a bridge
to other people, other villages
to close the gap
that separates us and keeps us from freedom.

Build me a bridge
to replace fighting lines
to burn away hate
to lead us to the middle common ground.

Grass

The whir of a lawn mower wakes me at 10am on a Saturday morning, the smell of fresh cut grass wafts in with the light breeze through my open window. I don't open my eyes or even admit I'm awake, I just lie here, concentrating on my senses: the crisp cotton sheet caresses my arms, the summer smell of the grass brings images of vast green lawns, lush and inviting, my bare feet walk over the carpet softness, the lawn mower whir stops and the whisper of the breeze makes the wind chime play its familiar tune. The smell of freshly brewed coffee now wanders up stairs to stir me from this dream, the insistant tinkling of my mother's spoon stirring her coffee is the alarm I have been waiting for to pad my way into wakeness and Saturday's summer chores.

A Stranger in a Strange Land

Maggie Rose from marginalviews posted a piece this week about her countdown to going home, how she misses it and her adult children, and the feelings of being a stranger in a strange land. It opened something in me that I seem to have just needed to express, so I share some of the thoughts and musings it awakened in me.

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As a fellow ex pat I go through what you are going through frequently, but my children are not yet adult, they are born and bred Spanish, so it is my parents, my brother and his kids I long to see. But my parents are in a place I will not get to for a long time yet (I hope) and my brother is not in my home town. So I long to go home to a time, place and feeling of love, family camaraderie and security that does not exist anymore. How the question "is it a past time you long to go back to?" stabbed at my heart.

On being a stranger in a strange land, I am that here, but last evening on an outing to a dance event at the local Casa de Cultura in town I kissed in greeting many of my spanish friends, said hello to another handful of faces I know from one facet or other of community life here. But I am the American outsider. When I visit the US after 20 years away, I do not have a community feeling anywhere (no doubt I would if I lived there for awhile...) and with my changed perspective on the US and its values, I am the American from Europe outsider. So I often feel a stranger in a strange land on both sides of the 'puddle' as they say here. I long not to have to explain myself, or traditions and customs, to not have to be careful to say the wrong thing in the wrong way or the right thing in the wrong way.

But this is my path, and mostly I give thanks for it, for it has shown me happiness and offers abundance of many kinds, but I do cross these areas of shadow from time to time. Perhaps it's the approach of Thanksgiving and Christmas, that brings a bit of darkness to the path this month.

On an enthusiastic note, I must tell you that there are about 7 of us American women married to Spaniards, and we get together every month or two and it is with them that I do not feel a stranger nor do I have to explain myself, because they feel the same. SO for the first time in the 6 years we have been meeting we are doing a joint Thanksgiving next Sat. (Nobody can get Thursday off work here, obviously.) And I am so excited about sharing that day in a warm family, group atmosphere, where the traditions need no explanations, the kids are at the kiddy table off to the side, the men talk about sports and the women are a supportive, chatty group in the kitchen and around the table. We will be 32 in all. Thank goodness another woman is hosting it in her huge house, not yet fully furnished.....Truly I can't wait! It reminds of the anticipation I felt when I was young and we joined with our distant cousins and grandparents, or when I'd come from school for big hugs and gatherings at a bountiful table!

Thank you for provoking this Maggie, it feels better now.

The Moon Rises

The moon rises and fills my soul

I watch for it, follow it,

Revel in its free nightly show



Over the water, behind a tree

A slow ascent, changing its hue

Cottony, golden, orange, bright white



It's diamond sparkle on the sea

Bids me goodnight as I admire it from my balcony

The moon rises and fills my soul.

The Jasmine and the Moon

I sit on my porch, drenched with the aroma of jasmine, bathed in moonlight. My notebook, beckoning for so long, sits with joy on my lap, receiving every word with open pages, taking in every detail, to recall the feeling when once again it has been abandoned for the computer and the daily grind of selling, marketing, networking.

When will the creativity return? When will there again be peace and satisfaction at filling a page? More than that, when will there be that driving need, so that the notebook will not be abandoned for so long? When o when? Soon o soon, whisper the jasmine and the moon.