The Rains Are Coming

The rains are coming despite the clear sky. The wind unsettles the atmosphere, there is an uneasy energy about. The wood animals scuttle, the dog prances, the horse paces, the cat chases, the fish dart. I cannot complete any one thing - skipping from one unfinished task to another, from one fleeting thought to the next. The rains are coming; I must store the cushions, cover the bikes, push the garden furniture under cover. I must bring in dry wood, pull down the laundry. I must look for the warmer bedspread, find my closed shoes and rain jacket.

Journal entry from Oct. 8th

I came across this yesterday, I wrote it over a month ago, while having tea at an outdoor cafe that overlooks the sea and a distant monolith with a statue on top that reminded me of an angel. These thoughts seem so poignant at this time when we are feeling the grips of the crisis - 4 months of uemployment and reduced billings for the household breadwinners. I must keep the faith, keep the thanks, keep the prayers, keep the love.

My Guardian Angel:

There she is, my guardian angel. What is she protecting me from? Where is she guiding me to? Why is it a she? Becasue I see her silhouette hovering above the sea, hair flowing, delicate eyes caring, hands reaching out. She is protecting me from all evil, there is no bad in my life: no theft, no physical harm nor threat of harm, no cheating, no back stabbing, no hate. She protects me from falls: I may stumble in momentary doubt, but never fall in complete negativity. I may come across a set back or a longer distance than anticipated, but never feel lost nor defeated. She protects me from finacial difficulty. I may have periods of lesser abundance, but never want for comfort. I may have unexpected expenses, but they are somehow always met, even when there has not been a clear source at hand.

She is guiding me through life, checking my humility, guarding me from greed, showing me compassion, always keeping me in love. She reminds me to be tempered, to seek wisdom; God's, mine, other's who have walked this path before me.

Silently, invisibly my guadian angel protects and guides me.

Obama Inspired!

YAAAY We did it! We voted in a man who prefers:

• peace vs. war


• helping the struggling vs. insisiting it's the fault of their own laziness and negating them support


• keeping in check greedy corporations vs. turning a blind eye to their abusive tactics because of their economic power


• pulling everyone together to promote change from bottom up vs. the haves dictating change (or lack there of) from a condescending podium of control


• multi-racial participation vs. white control

...and how hopeful I feel, despite all the HUGE problems to address.

He did it again with his acceptance speech, INSPIRING, hope he can keep it up!

Musings on Mad Men

Mad Men just broke the record for the most number of Emmy's won in one year. We get that show on one of our satelite channels and although I didn't see every episode I can more or less follow it. I enjoy it - I like remembering the fashions and decor of the sixties which is such a huge part of the shows quality level. The soap opera story hooks you. Many of the characters are quite attractive, both men and women. I like confirming how far women have come since then in terms of equality, respect, dignity - the way the men speak to some of those women (and about them when they are not present) is downright indignanat.

And this brings me to my musings - Why remind us of how lowly we were treated and we allowed oursleves to be treated? Is it to ensure that we don't retrocede? Or is it a sublime psycholigical ploy to let men know that once they were "superior"? I believe by giving so much coverage to something, even if the purpose is to denounce it, you are validating it to those that may feel the same way but had feared it because they felt they were the only ones. Take social problems like violence against women, pedofiles, or drug users. The more these acts are recognized in the media, it seems the more they are committed.

So the more this superior attitude towards women is glamorized by this series, (it has a glamorous feel - the clothes, the decor, the drinks..) the more we are encouraging certain types of men to perhaps aspire to it once again?

Just some things I ask myself when I find myself drawn to this program and incensed by it at the same time.

Journal Entry from Sept. 22, 2008

Glory Days!
Glory days are here again -both daughters back at school, lovely breezes and temperatures. The house stays neat, quiet and comfortable. I sit at my desk uninterrupted and get work done. New ideas start to flow, creativity is awakened and inspiration follows. How grand to feel productive and forward moving again, how grand that Fall has arrived!

Journal entry from Aug. 11 2008

The Inner Conflict of Lazy Days of Summer

In this moderate climate where I live, where neither winter nor summer temperatures are extreme (usually), our home is not air conditioned. Normally I enjoy feeling the difference in the seasons that this offers. Sundresses and strappy tops to keep cool in the summer heat of a home refreshed only by ceiling fans and a cross breeze; summer fashion that I must cover up with a sweater when I visit the air conditioned U.S. The layering of a turtle neck and sweater in the winter to keep warm in a house heated by a fireplace and space heaters; layers I must reduce when I am in centrally heated homes further North in Spain or in the U.S.

I like feeling the fresh air, the rise and fall of temperatures between day and night, the breezes from both sea and land; it feels more natural more in tuned with nature, I tell myself. There is a change of pace here in southern Spain, as the temperature rises and the holiday-makers invade. It reminds me of times of the past when people still lived the rhythms of the seasons; when “lazy days of summer” were natural, necessary and accepted.

Now central air conditioning and heating means, in most places, that our rhythm - our pace of life - must remain the same all year round. Winter used to mean staying close to the fire to keep warm, reading, sewing, knitting, making love, sleeping – activities to cherish in the long, cold winter months; a time of rest and repose - of inner reflection preparing for Spring and its growth. Spring and Fall were busy times, full of planting, sowing and harvesting, and readying for the winter. Summers were spent outdoors, in company of friends and neighbors, at a slower pace sanctioned by the high temperatures and long days. Repairs were made, canning and putting up for other seasons completed, life’s bounty enjoyed. Now we must all live the same pace, the same productivity, the same activity all year round – our body’s rhythms pressed to the max, out of whack with the earth’s natural rhythms.

Most summers I am glad not to have air conditioning, to consume less energy, spend less money and to feel more in tune with nature. However, in this exceptionally humid summer, my body is more in tune, it is exhausted, but my mind is influenced by modern demands and expectations. I have this inner conflict about what I feel capable of doing and what I think I should be doing during these hot Aug. days: preparing my activities for the Fall, making a marketing plan to be contracted for more activities, research for new programs to develop. The air conditioned American in me is hard on myself and pushes my mind to get busy, but the Spaniard in me recognizes that the pace is different here, and just wants to kick my feet up in the shade and read.
Today at 100 degrees with high humidity and hormones I long for those air conditioned days where one can work and relax with out getting sweaty and sticky, one can sleep through the night without waking up drenched in sweat, the room full of light from the street lamps because it’s too hot to cover the open windows with curtains or shades. One has more energy, one is more productive, one is not so hard on oneself for feeling so tired and lazy in these long days of summer.

NOTHING

Prompt from Weekend Wordsmith:

I've had nothing to say, it's all too blue, self doubting, pessimistic. I do not want to ponder on the sad, on the worried, on the what if's, so I have stayed away. I was taught that if you have nothing good to say than don't say anything at all. Unconsciously I have been applying that to my blog this summer...and to my life. Nothing is wrong, nothing will be lost, nothing has changed, nothing, nothing, nothing - except something, somewhere inside.